Tuesday, June 7, 2011

With

I want
With a little cloud in my sky
A drop of rain
A handful of mud
The earth damp, yet dry.


I want
With a drop of a spoon
A clink of the forks
A broken plate
Yesterday's leftover food.


I want
With a ray of the sun
A dazzling morning
A broken dream
The sound of my clock's alarm.


I want
With a walk around our place
A gentle tug
A warm hug
A smile on your face.


I want
With a bruise in there
touch
A feel
A mark left here.


I want
To leave
And, to live on
Forever,
With just you in my dreams...

3 comments:

Poornima said...

:) Love the poem, more than that, love the title of the poem. Little thoughts expressed so beautifully!

moon.attic said...

When a smile...a touch...and a word are all that binds!

Rahuldeb said...

The real beauty of this poem lies in its realization.
Just Don't continuously read this one, you go paragraph by paragraph.
Give a Pause. Feel it.


Another point is ..... It is really 'tinted', because of so much of variety .
(I dont have a better word may be versatile). Writer has maintained the tone uniform but
the painting has been different. Sometimes she has used colors, sometimes with different sound (read 'sound of my clock's alarm') sometimes just an emotional desire.

The last lines of each of the para is just awesome.

Now let me tell some not-so-good points about this (obviously this is my point of view)
The last para has been told so directly. When a poem is written it should not
be so much directly told. So unlike other paras ,the last para I felt was a bit weaker.

So , overall great poem.... GO ahead ....

This poem as you have said really .... 'left mark ' :)

Rahul